To moms who want to take care of themselves but don’t know how to get started

"I want to exercise and eat healthier, but I do it for like a week and then give up." "I want time for myself." "I feel like I stay all day home and I don’t get anything done." "I’m exhausted." "My husband travels and my whole life works around his schedule." "I don’t know who I am anymore."

These are some of the challenges that my clients have shared with me. These are also many of the challenges that I faced when my daughters were younger -and I’m still facing as they grow up.

Motherhood seems to catch us off guard. I haven’t met any woman who was completely aware of all the implications that raising children would have in their lives. When we make the decision to have children, we tend to believe’s society’s assumption that we will know what to do. And that we will do it wearing a floaty pink gown, smiling tenderly while we change the diaper of a sick baby.

To moms who want to take care of themselves but don’t know how to get started

A more fulfilling way to be a mother

I am glad I decided to have children. I love them with every part of my heart, body, and soul. I also believe that there has to be a better way to be a mother. A way that offers support instead of isolation. A way in which women embrace their personal interests and development, instead of pausing their lives until their children turn 18.

Isn’t it surprising that it’s 2019 and we still get the look when we announce that we will go back to work? Isn’t it sad that when we do decide to stay home while our children are young we are accused of being dependent and not feminist?

It feels like everybody has a say on how we raise our children and what choices we make as mothers.  It doesn’t matter how independent, outgoing, and determined we were before motherhood. By the second month of sleep deprivation, our only goal for the day is making it awake and in one piece.

When my daughters were babies I had no family in town and my husband worked a thousand hours a day. I felt numb and tired, incapable of negotiating my needs or plan for the mid-term.

But I was lucky. I met wonderful women who adopted me in their moms' circle. They taught me tricks and remedies. They held my baby while I played with my toddler. We met every week to share tea and homemade cake and talked about our stories to help each other to make sense of our lives.

How self-care really looks like

This is what self-care looks like: a nurturing environment that helps you to connect with yourself and catch up with the meaning of being a mom.

taniagerard.com

This is what self-care looks like: a nurturing environment that helps you to connect with yourself and catch up with the meaning of being a mom.

All those articles on the Internet urging mothers to engage on self-care seem to miss a point: taking care of ourselves is the result of a previous step.

When self-care feels like another duty; when we rush to fit 30 minutes at the gym between pre-school meetings and doctors appointments, it’s not self-care: it’s more stress.

I believe that self-care is a result from connecting with ourselves. When we look inside we can acknowledge our value, worth, and beauty.

From that place, we can plan beyond the weekly schedule and our child’s fever. We can see ourselves as humans in charge of guiding young humans into this planet and do that work from true love.

I recently coached a mom of two. When I asked her: who are you? she started to list her many roles: I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a nurse. She didn’t say her name. She described herself only in function of how she relates to others.

It’s almost impossible to care for someone that we don’t know. When we love somebody we spend time learning about them, finding out what they enjoy and what they dislike. We offer them choices that will make sense to what they need.

I have two questions for you:

  • Who are you? 
  • What do you need to take care of yourself?

I believe that the only way to be present for our children is to be fully present for ourselves. Because when mom lives joyfully, her children learn joy and fulfillment.


Caring from Love is my 6-week group coaching program for moms. I created it for you to learn clear, actionable tools to connect with yourself. You will learn how to understand your feelings, communicate your needs effectively, set loving boundaries, and take care of yourself as an act of love -not duty.

Click here to learn more about Caring from Love.

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