Eight steps to preparing your Journey to Congruency
You know how it's like: you wake up every morning feeling that this is not your real life, that you are playing a role in a script that somebody else wrote for you. You can't find any problem when you think about it. You have an education, a good job you enjoy, maybe even a relationship that is going okay and heading towards marriage.
But when you tune into your feelings -well, that is a whole different story. You are sure it is not a depression or any mental health issue. It is a yearning, it feels like missing something you can't even put into words.
Sometimes, a scene from a movie or a chapter from a book leave you thinking for days. And when you are alone at night, you dare to ask what if? What would happen if you could say what you are needing? Even better, what if you could create it and start living a life that feels like it’s yours?
I have been where you are. I spent years trying not to listen to what my inner wisdom was telling me. I worked hard, play even harder, and reasoned my way out of those wild ideas in my head. Until it started to take a toll on my health and I had to stop.
This was fourteen years ago. Today I feel I am at the right place, at the right time. I like who I am because I have chosen everything about it. I created the Congruency System to help other people get to this place of alignment.
My search had a beginning. A bumpy one, honestly. Since I was desperate to leave, I didn't take the time to plan my first steps. I am convinced that I would've saved myself some trouble. I would’ve also gotten into the personal exploration part faster than I did.
Setting off on your Journey doesn't mean leaving your job and live as a nomad. I know that's what cool kids are doing, and you might decide to do it too -but that is not the only way. The key idea of creating Congruency is choosing: what feels yours, what is in alignment with your beliefs and values, what makes sense to you.
If you are ready to explore what Congruency means to you and how you can create it in your life, keep on reading the eight steps to prepare for your Journey:
I made this amazing poster to jot down your ideas as you read the planning steps for your Congruency Journey.
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1. Describe what you want from an emotional perspective
Goals are important; they act as the compass for any project telling us where we are heading and letting us know when we reach that place. In Congruency, though, traditionally stating goals could prevent you from discovering what you are looking for.
Probably, your context is not providing you with enough models or possibilities to pursue your needs. When describing what is moving you, focus on how it feels (or what feelings it addresses.)
For example, saying "I want to feel that I choose how to react to unexpected situations" sets your focus on creating that choice, keeping you open to new ways of doing it -even ones that you have yet to discover on your Journey.
2. Decide how long you will be on your Journey
I'm telling you right now: you have no way to know where this Journey is taking you. This is why, even if it sounds counterintuitive, it’s important that you set a duration for its first phase and commit to checkpoints during this time.
As you discover yourself as a happy person, as you explore your curiosity and learn habits that allow you to connect with yourself and others, it is easy to forget what brought you here in the first place.
Since one key element of the Congruency System is to be aware of yourself and intentional in your actions, setting checkpoints will allow you to decide to stop or go on.
Your checkpoints will involve going back to your context of origin (what you have called home until now) and check in with yourself as you interact with people you have known forever. What has changed? In what way? What values is this creating? Are you on track or need to revise course?
3. Make sure you are in the best condition to begin
Feeling unsatisfied, out of place, or plainly unhappy can increase your stress levels and even take you to a state of burnout. Knowing how much stress you are managing and giving yourself time to lower its levels will increase the quality of your Journey in two ways:
- It will help you be conscious and therefore more in control of yourself and your learning process
- It will help you make decisions from a place of calmness (instead of desperation –you already know things don’t turn out well when you are feeling desperate.)
4. Get a Journey buddy
You will meet amazing people on your Journey. Women and men so incredible and with so much to teach you, that you can't even imagine it right now.
But also, you will need somebody to ground you as you expose yourself to all these new ways to understand life. Someone who can offer you perspective, who reminds you why you are doing this in the first place Somebody that acknowledges your courage and loves you to the bone.
Do have someone in mind already? Make a date and tell them what you are planning, what you need from them, and how you will keep in contact.
Can't think of anybody yet? Don't worry; you will know who they are as you move forward into the details of your Journey.
5. Choose your documenting system
Prepare yourself to receive what you seek. Commit to the process. Regardless of the specific needs you want to fulfill in your Journey to Congruency, you are seeking experience, wisdom, and perspective. Soon, you will put your idea of normality to the toughest test.
Prepare for this by deciding how you will document your learnings so you can come back and reflect on them as your path unravels. Will you keep a journal? Will you record videos?
I don't recommend a blog or posting on Facebook because this is a very personal matter. You don't want even an ounce of fear as you express yourself and document your experiences.
6. Activate your curiosity
People have written volumes about curiosity, about seeing the world with the "eyes of a beginner." I am not into magic or esotericism, so my interpretation is pragmatic: Imagine you just landed on Earth, and pretend you are watching things happening for the first time.
I know, it's easier said than done. But like any habit, you will learn it with practice and will be able to act curiously without effort.
Humans predict outcomes based on their experience as the result of an adaptation of the brain. It is an advantageous capability when we plan and scan for danger. Predicting can be very frustrating when you are exposing yourself to many new things (just be careful to keep the preventing danger part.)
Curiosity will boost your ability to learn and will help you to manage the stress resulting from change and uncertainty.
7. Take good care of yourself
Repeat after me:
I am important, I love myself, I promise to be always safe, healthy and in well-being.
Don't go all Into The Wild, please. Be safe, be healthy. Always. Have an emergency plan, let someone know where you are, check on your emotions and make sure you are feeling okay.
A Journey to Congruency is a big thing; transformation is deep and strong, and it gets painful sometimes. It is also exhilarating; you will know joy as never before. Be ready for an emotional roller coaster: make sure your physical and mental health are in check to support you in this amazing experience.
8. Optimize so that you can focus on your exploration
This last step to prepare is also the first step to begin your actual Journey. Make your life as simple as possible during this time. Own the least, owe the least, save your energy for yourself.
You will have time for big projects later on. Amazing projects that you will conceive during your Journey to Congruency. Don't commit yet. Wait until you are sure you have arrived and you have found how to create what your heart is longing. I promise it's worth it.
Ready for some action?
Pour your favorite drink, kick off your shoes and download your Roadmap Poster
to start scribbling ideas for your Journey.
- Poster size to give you enough space for your ideas
- Highlights from the post to keep your wheels turning
Enter your name and address
to download a Roadmap Poster
that you can use to scribble ideas
and start planning your Journey now.